Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, the off feeling, even when nothing obvious happened? Or caught yourself giving a tight smile or cutting someone off in the middle of the conversation, not to be rude, but just out of habit?
That is the subtle world of unconscious bias, where our past experiences, instincts, and daily habits quietly shape how we communicate, often without us even knowing it.
It is in the little things: the tone of our voice, the look on our face, the words we choose, and yes, even in the jokes we crack. Bias does not always sound; sometimes, it whispers.
In this blog, we’ll take a closer look at how these hidden biases slip into our conversations and how we can make the way we communicate more inclusive, thoughtful, and genuinely human.
The Face You Didn’t Know You Were Making
Facial expressions, the expressions we make while talking, can be unintentional.
Just imagine you are talking to someone and they start making confused facial expressions. This will make you feel like they are unsure of what you are saying. Or maybe they look a bit impatient, like checking their watch or fidgeting. You will immediately feel unwelcome and even judged. But what if those reactions were not intentional?
Unconscious bias often shows up through involuntary reactions, such as a forced smile, a furrowed brow, or an annoyed glance. Some we are not aware of them, but they speak volumes to the other person.
These small signs, when they keep happening, can really affect how comfortable someone feels or whether they feel truly heard.
Where Unconsious Bias Hides in Communication
Unconscious bias is not just about what we say, it is about what we assume, expect, or overlook.
Let’s see how it often appears in our daily conversations:

1. Microaggressions
The small, “harmless” comments or actions that may not seem like a big deal, but when they happen again and again, they can hurt others.
Examples:
- Mimicking others’ accents to make it fun.
- Assuming someone’s role based on how they look.
People don’t always mean harm when they say these things, but even without bad intent, the impact can still hurt.
2. Favoring Familiar Communication Styles
We are all diverse. Some people are direct, while others are reflective. Some people speak with emotions while others prefer logic.
Unconscious bias can make us prefer communication styles that feel like our own. And when that happens, we might ignore good ideas, not because they are wrong, but just because they are shared in a different way.
For example, if someone talks softly and slowly and we are used to talking with fast, confident speakers, we might interpret them as shy or boring. But in reality, they might just be thinking carefully and choosing their words with intention.
3. Stereotyping & Quick Assumptions
Whether we accept the fact or not, we all make quick assumptions, sometimes without even noticing it. Be honest, how many times have we assumed someone is “techy” just because they are a member of the younger generation? Or that someone would not understand a meme or a social media trend just because they are older?
These assumptions can be unintentional, but when we use them in communication, they can lead to:
- The feeling of exclusion, like not asking for their opinion or input.
- The feeling of invalidation can make them feel unheard or ignored.
- To embarrass, misjudging their comfort with a topic.
4. Exclusionary Language
Language is powerful. Sometimes we say things that feel normal to us, but they can quietly make others feel left out or hurt.
For example:
- Using the term “You guys” when speaking to a mixed group.
- Cultural references that not everyone gets.
- Cracking Jokes that are based on gender, religion, or region.
Even when these are not meant to offend, they can quietly signal: “This isn’t for you.”
5. Dismissing or Overlooking Contributions
Bias can make us, without meaning to, pay more attention or trust people who match the picture of “credible” we already have in our minds.
That means:
- Nodding more at one person’s ideas.
- Letting some voices dominate meetings.
- Interrupting others without realizing it.
And over time, this adds up. The result? People feel unseen, unheard, and undervalued.
So, What Can We Do About It?
Just because something is unconscious doesn’t mean it can’t change. Once we notice and become aware of these habits, we can start making better choices.
Here are some practical ways to shift toward more inclusive, bias-aware communication:

1. Create a Safe Space for Diversity
We often say we “value diversity,” but do our conversations actually reflect that?
Creating psychological safety means:
- Encouraging different perspectives.
- Not penalizing someone for speaking differently.
- Welcoming curiosity over judgment.
Ask yourself: Would everyone in this room feel okay speaking their truth here?
2. Practice Self-Awareness
The truth is, we all have blind spots. But when we pause and reflect, we start seeing them.
Try this:
- After a meeting, ask yourself: Who did I listen to most? Who did I overlook?
- Notice your facial expressions or tone during tough conversations.
- If someone reacts unexpectedly, ask yourself: Did something I said carry unintended weight?
Self-awareness is like turning on a light in a dark room, you begin to see what you didn’t before.
3. Active Listening, Truly Listening
Most of us listen to respond. But active listening is about listening to understand.
It means:
- Not to interrupt while someone is talking (even when you disagree).
- Letting others finish their thought.
- Paraphrasing what they said to show you are engaged.
When people feel truly heard, they feel valued, and that’s when meaningful communication happens.
4. Slow Down Before You Judge
Our brains love shortcuts. But before jumping to conclusions, pause.
- Is this opinion based on fact, or a stereotype I’ve picked up along the way?
- Would I feel the same if the person looked or spoke differently?
Bias lives in speed. Empathy lives in pause.
Final Thoughts: Communicate Like It Matters, Because It Does
Unconscious bias in communication doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us human. But not being aware of it, that is what creates harm.
Every time we choose to pause, to listen, to reflect, we create space for new ideas, for different voices. A space where everyone feels free to express themselves.
So next time you find yourself mid-conversation, ask:
- Am I really listening, or just hearing?
- Am I reacting, or responding with intention?
- Am I creating a connection, or quietly closing a door?
Because the way we communicate shapes the world we live in. Let’s make it more inclusive, one word, one smile, one pause at a time.